Pleasure as Healer



Autobiography of An Orgasm, by Betsy Blankenbaker is a gift of love to the world.

It is a total life changer for me. It  moved me back into the space of owning my pleasure, this time at a completely new level.  As I read the book the first time this past summer, I recognized that far from being something I knew little about, the sensations in my body, sensations that I had not previously associated with orgasm (because they showed up outside of the context of sex) were in fact a part of a full spectrum of pleasure.

The information and the stories reconnected me with my commitment to understanding my own sexuality/sensuality established in my early twenties and then again in my forties. Many of us, females in particular,  subvert  that in favor of  the partners we are trying to please along the way. I am not the exception to that. Fortunately, our pleasure lies dormant until reawakened.

AOAO helped me re access those sensations that used to be very common for me.

They got lost most recently when my body essentially collapsed under the pressure I put on it to keep going no matter what, resulting in neurological and orthopedic show-stoppers.

Betsy very poignantly describes her journey of discovery, opening and healing of her innately sensual nature.  Both times that I have read Autobiography of An Orgasm my body has responded with “Yes! That! I want that consistently too! I want access to the pleasure inherent in the 8000 nerve endings in my clitoris.” My body responded orgasmically to the stories in the book, to the hope contained withing those stories.

I, as the steward, the inhabitor of this body,  cannot continue to settle for less than what is possible, for less than the birthright of a human body.  Living tapped into that vibrant creative energy, re inhabiting my body fully  is my birthright and I want to know how to maximize that energy. My sense is that if (when) we collectively teach ourselves to focus on the pleasure, the feel good at the periphery of every constriction into pain, we can soften the pain into pleasure and tap into a deeply healing reservoir of energy, until we recognize our wholeness.

The book brought that energy of orgasm back  to the center of my awareness.

I particularly love that this research is that of  a fifty something year old woman not a twenty or thirty-something year old woman. That makes it profoundly powerful for all of us who are privileged to be alive in our fifties and beyond. She writes about her insecurity around the issue of age. That  discussion has tapped deeply into my own body image insecurities around my age and gently encouraged me to begin to look at them, to feel them through to the other side.   

After reading  Autobiography of an Orgasm for the first time, I reached out to Betsy.  I wanted more information.  I wanted the how. How do you access the level of pleasure she describes? Where does one start?

How do you stop reverting back to the pressure to release into climax kind of pleasuring and deeply learn to savor the body in all of its sensations?

Betsy has compiled Autobiographies of Our Orgasms into anthologies, the first of which was published in May of 2015.  In chapter three of that book are a couple of exercises that can start you on a path of opening to deeper awareness of your own capacity for pleasure. Get the book, read the chapter, do the practices. Really. Just do it. If you have any pull at all to discover the capacity for pleasure built into our bodies. And read the stories!  They are gorgeous!

The second anthology is scheduled for release February 14th.  I am privileged to have my story included in this anthothology.

There is a bottom line to this for me.

It is that we get to break current paradigms and set new ones. That is one more thing about this exploration that excites me and helps  keep me on the  path of sweet and curious discovery.

Happy birth month to you Betsy!  Thank you for being another forerunner!


All three books are (or will be) available on Amazon. (This is not an affiliate link.  It is a shameless plug for a life changing couple of books for all genders.)

Betsy’s website –

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