Love it or Hate it, Facebook is What You Make It.


Your Facebook experience  is all yours.


Do you find it too negative? Too risky? an invasion of your  privacy? Confusing? Fickle?

It is.

And if you experience it as a great way to stay in touch, a source of inspiration, an effective business tool, a phenomenal  way to connect with like minded people (and maybe still a bit confusing?)

It is all of those things.  Your Facebook experience is what you decide it will be for you.


There is  a plethora of opinions about Facebook all based on the user’s experience. Accurate to the perceiver.

Your Facebook experience can be crazy-making  negative.

It can be risky and frightening, particularly if you are unfamiliar with the steps to take to minimize risk and you have no idea where to start. It can be an invasion of your privacy if you are not schooled in how to be  intentional about who you share your stuff with.  And it can all be very confusing!  The rules of the game seem to change just as you have become acclimated to them.

It can just as easily be connecting and inspiring.


It can be a source of deep and varied inspiration. It is a powerful way to connect with like minded people all over the world. You might even connect with a part  of your tribe!

I have found it to be a great way to stay in touch ( or reconnect ) with old friends who have scattered.  I grew up in Japan and graduated from a small missionary school.  We scattered on graduation.  Some kept in touch.  I did not keep in touch with anyone.  My belief system disappeared within 7 months of graduating and with that, my lifestyle radically changed.  I cut that part of my life out for a long time.

When the 3/11/11  earthquake/tsunami took out much of the area where I grew up, FB served as place to reconnect and support each other.  FB served as place to reconnect and support each other. It wasn’t just people I knew from my high school years.  It was everyone who had been impacted by that event with a history similar to mine.  As my sister said, the place of our childhood memories was forever changed.

Facebook is also a place where my sisters and I celebrate and support each other. We formed a group of the five of us, made it secret (the strongest group privacy setting) so that the only place that  what we share with each other shows up is in our own feeds. Anyone not in the group is not aware of the name of the group or its existence.   We are scattered across the Pacific and western coast and this keeps us connected and in each other’s lives.

I participate regularly in 3 other groups.  One absolutely life enhancing. It is where I go for sustenance and always points me back to awareness of the Divine within me.  One is a mastermind group where I have forged some beautiful connections and one is my  Web Designer Beauty School Student Support Group

You have a fair amount of control over what shows up in your feed.


It is a bit like turning off the news after 9/11/01 and yes. I did.  I stopped turning on the news. It was on every television in almost every hospital room I entered that day and for weeks and months afterwards.  Replaying the images of that day over and over again and imprinting them  on the screen of my mind did nothing to shift things. It kept my focus on terror.

I will share the ins and outs of the control you have in the coming weeks.


For now?  This.

I have a simple rule of engagement on my timeline. Be respectful of everyone.  If you can’t, I will (and have) delete your posts or response.

If I notice that I am repeatedly deleting someone’s posts and  responses, I  simply “unfriend”  that person. I choose what I want in my space when possible (and on Facebook, it is completely possible) Turns out Facebook is a great place to practice how it feels to set boundaries if that doesn’t come easily to you.

It has gotten so much easier as I have made peace with the fact that it is not my job to rescue or change  the entire planet. There are some energies (people?) I don’t want in my space.  Period.  I have stopped arguing with myself over the why.  It simply is.

A little like putting a shield around my heart that filters out what doesn’t need to lodge itself there .  (Thank you for that imagery, Isabel Martins.)

One of my favorite things about Facebook is the level of connection available in closed and private groups. I personally choose to keep the groups I participate in to a minimum so that I feel able to deeply connect where I choose to connect.


Because, like many of us,  I add myself to groups that catch my attention for a minute, periodically I go through and clean out my groups using one  criteria.


Does it fill me with aliveness,  or is it constricting?

I wish to be surrounded by people who feel as alive in my presence as I feel in theirs. Do I “keep them around” because there is fear that I will miss something by letting them go, or is it because I love what they bring to the table of my life?

This is a great question to ask yourself about whatever list you are examining.   This one for example.  Does it in someway contribute to your growth and aliveness here, now? If not, is there a deeper reason that you choose to come back here every week?


Bottom line?


Your Facebook experience is yours alone.  What do you want it to be?  Over the next few weeks I will share with you the simple ways  to keep that experience safe and as private as you want it to be, how to customize lists the enhance your experience, the difference between a business page and your timeline, how to manage the sponsored links that show up and more.

In the mean time, notice how your current experience feels to you.  Notice what you are drawn to and how that feels … the things that bring out the aliveness in you, the things that spur you to action, the things that constrict your soul. Notice what you wish was different.

Come back  and share that here in the comments. Maybe I’ll have a solution that could shift that for you. You never know!


As always, if this is helpful in any way to you, please click on one of the icons to your left of below and share with your people!!  Thank you.